By Ali Hines

I sit here on the first day of July, reading yet another discouraging news article about the coronavirus. This time, the update being that Newsom is shutting down restaurants, again. 

Ah, the disappointment. The frustrations of being chained to this virus and having my freedom shaken. Then, I get an email saying to take a survey on how we would choose to send our children back to school in the fall. (God bless you homeschoolers – I might need you to help me if the road meets us there!) I take the survey with a heavy heart and a lump in my throat, desiring my “normal” so bad and for this to all be in the past. Also, wanting this “normal” deeply for my children, my heart-patient sister and nephew, and my grandparents who are in a nursing home – and for so many more. What a weight I know we have all felt for so many over these last months.

But then I am reminded of an idol in my life that God convicts me of time and time again:  comfort.

Oh how the Lord knows my struggle and fear with discomfort. When my life is outside my desired bubble, all I do is yearn to get back in there. I like my bubble; it’s controlled and comfortable. I find the Lord often guiding and correcting me in my prayers, that the root to so many of my desires are for the comfort of my family more than anything. “Lord, heal this.. take this away… bless this…” and so forth. 

Is this a sin for desiring goodness and health for my loved ones? Of course not. The Lord gave me a heart to love deeply and care for the well-being of others. But is it a sin to desire this comfort OVER the will of God, if that may mean we have to experience some discomfort? Yes. And ouch. 

Oh Lord, I am sorry for my battle – help me to daily love you more than my comfort!

The feelings I’ve had over Covid that I previously related to chains, heaviness, and lack of freedom is NOT of the Lord. This is when I am narrow-sighted and in my flesh instead of fixing my eyes on the One who has the bigger picture in His hands. I am heavy hearted because I am looking at my circumstances and not to the One that is the Ruler and King over all. No virus can chain me, because my God is the breaker of chains. My freedom is not based on my feelings. My freedom is rooted in Jesus Christ who sets me free from any bondage I may face.

So, I might have to homeschool. I might have to shelter in place again (shoot, does that mean I have to cook 15 times a day again? Talk about fear, ha!). My loved ones or I might get this virus. I might be stretched more in my discomfort.

I can choose to focus on a lot of these “what if’s” and “mights.” But what if I choose to keep my eyes fixed on Him instead?

May I be so fixed on my Comforter that my discomfort fades away. Psalm 121 says:

I look up to the mountains—does my help come from there?

My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth! 

He will not let you stumble; the one who watches over you will not slumber.

Indeed, he who watches over Israel never slumbers or sleeps.

The Lord himself watches over you!

The Lord stands beside you as your protective shade. 

The sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon at night.

The Lord keeps you from all harm and watches over your life. 

The Lord keeps watch over you as you come and go, both now and forever.

My prayer for our family in Christ is that as this world shifts and changes, that we seek the Lord and “When my heart is overwhelmed, lead me to the rock that is higher than I.” Psalm 91

(Ali and her husband have been a part of SBC with their now three kids longer than most of the staff. Ali has served in KidsCo, has helped with interior decorating, and wrote this blog within two hours of being asked if she was interested. Crazy what a motivated mom can do while her kids are napping.)

One Response

  1. Great job Ali, the fear of the loss of comfort is a stong motivator for inaction, which can be rationalized so easily.

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